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Favorite Blackadder Quotes anyone?

topic posted Thu, September 9, 2004 - 1:07 PM by  Sídhe
Mine being "I've got a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it weasel!" - From BAIII
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Sídhe
offline Sídhe
Milwaukee
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    Re: Favorite Blackadder Quotes anyone?

    Thu, September 9, 2004 - 1:55 PM
    "What's that awful smell?" [Mrs. Pants]
    "That's the servant. He'll be gone." [Edmund] (BAII)


    "Life without you would be like a broken pencil" [Edmund]
    "Excuse me?" [Queenie]
    "Pointless" [Edmund] (BAII)
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    Re: Favorite Blackadder Quotes anyone?

    Tue, September 14, 2004 - 9:13 AM
    In BA I, Witchsmeller Pursuivant-

    A jail scene:

    Blackadder: You can capture an eagle, but you cannot clip its wings!

    Guard I: Hey, how's that eagle you caught?

    Guard II: It gave me some trouble, but now that I've clipped its wings, it hasn't been a problem.

    Also from BA I, the first episode:

    As they are about to head into the Battle of Bosworth Field:

    Harry: Now, there's going to have to be a certain amount of violence. But at least we all know that it's in a good cause, don't we?
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      Re: Favorite Blackadder Quotes anyone?

      Tue, September 14, 2004 - 11:22 AM
      darling, i want to cover your gorgeous body in pepper and sneeze all over you!! (something like that, BA goes Forth)
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        Re: Favorite Blackadder Quotes anyone?

        Tue, September 14, 2004 - 1:43 PM
        Wow, thought you were calling me darling at first...

        Funny shit, though.

        I also love:

        Melchett to Baldrick: "Ready to give the French a damn good licking?"

        Capt. Darling: "I believe it is the Germans that we will be licking, sir."

        Melchett: "Don't be disgusting, Darling! I wouldn't lick a German if he was coated in honey!"
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    Re: Favorite Blackadder Quotes anyone?

    Fri, September 17, 2004 - 4:05 PM
    Lord Percy BA II: "Then one night he vanished like an old oak table...."

    "Don't you mean varnished Lord Percy?" [Queenie]
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    • Yuriko
      Yuriko
      offline 46

      Re: Favorite Blackadder Quotes anyone?

      Fri, September 17, 2004 - 4:09 PM
      From BA II: Potato

      Blackadder: Bloody explorers, ponce off to mumbo-jumbo-land, come home with a tropical disease, a suntan and a bag of brown lumpy things, and, Bob's your uncle, everyone's got a picture of them in the lavatory. I mean, what about the people that do all the work?

      Baldrick: The servants.

      Blackadder: No, me; *I'm* the people who do all the work. I mean *look* at this! *What* is it?

      Baldrick: Oh, I'm surprised you've forgotten, my lord.

      Blackadder: I haven't forgotten; it's a rhetorical question.

      Baldrick: No, it's a potato.

      Blackadder: To you it's a potato, to me it's a potato. But to Sir Walter Bloody Raleigh it's country estates, fine carriages, and as many girls as his tongue can cope with. He's making a fortune out of the things; people are smoking them, building houses out of them... They'll be eating them next.
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        Re: Favorite Blackadder Quotes anyone?

        Fri, September 17, 2004 - 4:44 PM
        Stranger things have happened m'lord.
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          Re: Favorite Blackadder Quotes anyone?

          Fri, September 17, 2004 - 4:58 PM
          you have a woman's potato!! ;)
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          • Weasel
            Weasel
            offline 43

            Re: Favorite Blackadder Quotes anyone?

            Sun, September 19, 2004 - 4:55 PM
            These are my favourites:

            LF: "Always treat your kite the way you treat your woman."
            BA: "How do you mean sir? Take it home on the weekends to meet your mother?"
            LF: "No, I mean get inside her 5 times a day and take her to heaven and back!"
            - LF, teaching the air force recruits, BA4

            G: "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do ?"
            EB: "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
            - somewhere in No Man's Land, BA4

            "She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils."
            - Lord Flasheart, Bells, BA2

            "They do say, Mrs Miggins, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong as you shall find out when I stick this toasting fork in your head.
            - EB to Mrs Miggins after being called a mere butler, BA3

            EB: Baldrick, where's the manuscript?
            B: You mean the big papery thing tied up with string?
            EB: Yes, Baldrick, the manuscript...belonging to Dr Johnson.
            B: You mean the big baity fellow in a black cape who just left?
            EB: Yes, Baldrick, Doctor Johnson.
            B: So...you're asking where the big papery thing tied up with string belonging to the big baity fellow in a black cape who just left is?
            EB: Yes, Baldrick, I am. And if you don't answer, then the booted bony thing with five toes at the end of my leg will soon connect sharply with the soft dangly collection of objects in your trousers. For the last time, Baldrick, where is Doctor Johnson's manuscript?
            B: On the fire.
            EB: On the WHAT?!!
            B: The hot orangy thing below the stony mantlepiece.
            -- Edmund and Baldrick : Ink and Incapability

            Fortune vomits on my eiderdown once more.
            -- Edmund : Duel and Duality
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  • james
    james
    online 176

    Re: Favorite Blackadder Quotes anyone?

    Thu, September 23, 2004 - 5:56 PM
    Prince Edmund : Scotsmen are barbarians! Half of them don't even speak English!
    Percy : Well, what do they speak?
    Prince Edmund : Oh, I don't know. It's all Greek to me!
    Percy : They speak Greek?
    Prince Edmund : No, I mean it SOUNDS like Greek.
    Percy : Well, if it sounds like Greek, it probably IS Greek.
    Prince Edmund : It's not Greek!
    Percy : But it sounds LIKE Greek..."What's not Greek, but sounds like Greek?" Hm, that's a good one, my lord!
    Prince Edmund : Look, it's not meant to be a BRAIN-TEASER, Percy! I'm simply trying to tell you that I cannot understand a blind word they're saying.
    Percy : Well, no wonder, my lord. You never learned Greek, of course.
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  • Chris
    Chris
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    Re: Favorite Blackadder Quotes anyone?

    Sun, February 20, 2005 - 11:27 AM
    I like when the weird sisters at the end of the first episode tell Edmund he will be king. And then after he leaves on of them says something like "That's not how I pictured Henry Tudor at all. I didn't think he'd look so Jewish."
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    Re: Favorite Blackadder Quotes anyone?

    Tue, March 15, 2005 - 4:42 AM
    Second Series.

    Blackadder is selling his house to pay of the Black Monks debt.

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    Mrs Pants: (insistent for a real answer) What about the privies?
    Edmund: (doesn't give away either of the two cups he holds) Well, what we're talking about
    in, erm, privy terms is the very latest in front-wall, fresh-air orifices, combined with a wide-
    capacity gutter installation below.
    Mrs Pants: You mean you crap out of the window.
    Edmund: Yes!
    Mrs Pants: Well! In that case, we'll definitely take it! (takes a cup from Edmund) I can't stand
    those dirty indoor things.
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    AND

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    Mr Pants: You've really worked out your banter, haven't you?
    Edmund: No, not really. This is a different thing. It's spontaneous and it's called `wit'
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    HEE HEE

    Brilliant!!